Kaden's Story

April is Autism awareness month. In honor of that I am writing Kadens story. I know I have written plenty about him. But this has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. Maybe this will be some sort of therapy for me. Who knows....
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew this baby was different. Our bond was so strong. I knew he was sent here to save me. To save our family. It wasn't the easiest time in our marriage. It felt like we were falling apart. Then this miracle happen. I hadn't been off birth control long and was planning on getting an IUD. Two kids was enough. Two kids kept me busy. Two kids was more then enough when you are in a struggling marriage. But Heavenly Father knew more then me. He knew something special needed to happen and something special did happen. Kaden happen.
Kadens story is not much different then the other I have read about. Kaden was born October 12, 2005. A perfect baby. Completely healthy. When Kaden was 6 weeks old his daddy had to deploy for the Navy. His mom was a wreck. She had gone back to Utah to live with her mom the last time he had deployed, she wasn't strong enough to do it on her own, she needed help. You see his mom has terrible panic attacks. But this time was different. This time she knew as long as she had Kaden in her arms she could accomplish anything. He was her security blanket. With him she could do anything. And she DID! She made it the whole 7 months Kadens dad was deployed. We took pictures for daddy everyday so he could see him grow and so he could see what we had been up to while he was away.



Before we knew it it was time for daddy to come home! Daddy loved playing with you and getting to know you. You were 8 months old.
And you weren't sitting on your own still. When it was time for your check up, I told the doctor I was worried. She was quick to push aside my fears and reassured me that all kids develop in their own time. But still I knew. I knew something was different.When you were about eleven months old you started sitting on your own! It was such a relief to me, yet I couldn't shake the fact that something was different.

You would talk you would say mama and dada, bye bye, see ya, and JD and Dana. You would blow kisses. You would look us in the eye, you would play with us. When you were about 14 or so months you started to crawl and pull yourself up
And again at your year check up, I told them something was wrong. Something was different. Babies younger then him were passing him up. I couldn't get you to eat solids. I would have to pry your mouth open and force feed you. And still my concerns were brushed off. "His weight is fine", kids develop in their own time" That's what they all told me. When you were about 18 months you started walking. OH HAPPY DAY! They are right you are meeting your mile stones, just in your own time. But still there was that nagging feeling something wasn't right. You had stopped talking. I still couldn't get you to eat. But I had found one meal that wasn't "out of the box" or chicken nuggets. It was my pork chops with cream of mushroom soup over rice. All to soon you quit eating that too. Don't get me wrong you eat, you just don't eat like you should. You loved crackers, chicken nuggets, cereal, chips and milk. I know milk isn't a food, but you act like it is. There were other changes too. You would spin, oh boy could you spin. You would climb up on my dinning room table and spin and spin. You could do it for 15 minutes straight, not show a sign of getting dizzy or ever falling off. You wouldn't talk, wouldn't blow kisses, or mimic me anymore. You didn't play with cars normally you would flip them over and spin the wheels. And again I marched you into the doctors office and expressed my concern. And again it didn't matter what I said, I was blown off again. He is fine, he is normal, he's doing great. You quit looking people in the eye, "he's just shy". I couldn't get you to look at the camera anymore.
My heart was breaking, I was losing you and no one would listen. To add to the stress you had a little brother on the way. Then one day you got a rash, I couldn't get you in to see your normal doctor, she was on maternity leave herself, so we had to go to a different doctor. As she was checking out your rash she started asking questions. Does he make eye contact with you? How does he play with toys? Hows his eating? She saw it, she knew. FINALLY! Finally someone saw it, finally someone listened! She told us she thought it might be autism and made a referral for us to have you tested!! YAY right? Nope. They had a huge waiting list and they couldn't see you for a month or 2. Ok we have waited this long. But here's more problems, remember that baby brother you had on the way, yep he was coming and they had an opening to test you a week after I had my c-section. I couldn't drive, I could barely walk and your daddy was in school for the Navy because we were MOVING!!!! To Lemoore, Ca SO I did what I do best I put it off. I am sorry, and your are going to hear that a lot in the next little bit. We moved, we got settled, we took you to the doctor to get you on the path to be tested. They dont do that here at the hospital so they made a referral to Stanford, but I could never get the right department even though I called the number they sent on the paperwork they had never heard of you. So I checked into somewhere else the doctor had mentioned. Central Valley Regional Center. Every time I thought I was going to get answers, it was another step that had to be completed first. Finally we got an appointment to see the doctor who would diagnose you. And that day he did diagnose you. He said I am sorry your child has autism. I said I know and I am ok with that, I have known for so long. He said no your not, you think you are but your not. And boy was he right. So the next step was wait for the paperwork. But while we were waiting on that paperwork some other test they wanted to run had come back and they had sent copies to the school district. So then we had to do more testing with the school district where again we were told you had autism. They had a special preschool they wanted you to go to. We went to the IEP, I filled out all the paperwork, but I didnt have your birth certificate, so I ordered it, it came and still I didnt go back to the school to put you in. I am sorry. I wasnt ready. You were only three. YOU belonged home with me. I can teach you. I can fix this. The school could have you when you were five just like all the other kids. SO that school year came and went. I kept promising myself that when the school year started again I would put you in, so the day before school started I went to register you. But you needed a TB test. So, I saw it as a sign and put it off again. I am sorry. Finally in January of 2010 your grandma came to visit. She said I am not leaving until he is in school and I dont care who I have to call he will be in school in the next two weeks. And boy did she get the ball rolling. You are now is school. You are making progress. You are amazing. You can take a bad day and make me smile. I love you Kade through the mess, the stress and everything else I thank Heavenly Father everyday for you. I know I am slow at doing things and I am working on it, But I promise to fight and do everything I can to save you, the way you save me and our family.

Hey Hey its wordless Wednesday and I have pix

quick update

We are still here and alive. No pics in this post either, hopefully tomorrow. But I always say that then I get all caught up in life and time starts flying and before I know it its been another week. We have been busy with homework,play time, dinner then a family walk. It has been great for us/me. Mostly me, I have lost 8 lbs! Happy Dance!!! JD and Danica are both getting awards tomorrow. So I will have pictures. Oh and JD turned 9. He helped make his own cake and I missed the picture :( my memory card has been missing but I found it tonight! So def. pictures of tomorrows award assembly. And I will get a couple of JD riding his new bike :) He was a happy boy. He cant wait to start Karate class. Danica is a busy bee, learning her part for her assembly next week. Kaden is continually suprising us with all he is learning and really seems to making progress. Dalton has turned into a little clean freak and if I am at the computer too long he will come over and start handing me the mess from around the living room so he can vacuum. And if I am working in the kitchen he has to steam mop. LOL. Vernon is doing good, stays busy with work and the being a dad when he gets home and shooting when he can sneak away on the weekend. Thats it for tonight! sorry its all crazy, but I couldnt let another night go by with out updating. Love you all!
Care

Whats going on with us

Hey guys! Been a week or so since I posted, so I thought I should go ahead and update ya'll on whats going on with us these days so here we go, oldest to youngest.

Me~Carolyn~Mom, Today I am starting to....gulp....exercise. Yup, I do not like what I see when I step on the scale, nope nope nope not happy at all. And since there are no more babies for us, there is really no need for all the extra fluff that wasnt worth losing when I was still in the baby making game....TMI, maybe, sorry :) So to further motivate me I will be posting weekly (maybe not so weekly, you know me, I am a slacker)weigh ins and pictures. If I cant see progress I will most likely quit and what better motivation then to announce to the world that I weigh......184, ouch, there I said it. And now I am going to work on making that number smaller. 30 Day shred here I come! Thanks for the work out video idea Tiffany!

Vernon~Dad, Is doing good. On Thursday he will be taking the 1st class test for the Navy. Wish him LUCK! He is still big into collecting C&R rifles and is always finding something new he just has to have. To bad we dont have an endless supply of money so he can collect all he wants :) He is hoping to go hunting this fall and hopefully we will be able to get enough saved for him to go.

Jaron, is going on a FIELD TRIP! The dont do a lot of field trips here, in fact it is like every other year you get to go on one. Ok thats a lie, they do get to go to the high school for the play every year. But thats kinda boring. So this one is a fun one, they are doing a farm day at the local fair grounds. He is also quickly coming up to his 9th birthday! Holy cow! we are half way to 18. How the heck did that happen?!?

Danica, is doing the patriotic program again this year. The first and second grade do it every year. and this year she got a major part. She is going to be the narrator over the whole program. HOLY COW! How cool is that! She is very excited. I on the other hand was hoping to skip the whole thing this year, its the night before spring break and I am hoping to get out of town this year and wanted to leave right after school. HAHAHA but this part is awesome for her so we will wait until the next day to head out. Good Job Nan. She is also looking forward to her birthday and insists on knowing how many days until her birthday at least once a week. Birthdays are a big deal around here I guess.

Kaden, is doing awesome with school. Just wish I could say the same about the bus schedule! I am still fighting with them because I find it unexceptable for him to be on the bus for 2 hours everyday after school. that makes for a 10 hour day for my 4 year old and it makes me sad.Sometimes it feels like all I do is fight for him to get what he deserves. Earlier this week we got a letter saying they were stopping his SSI check and while we can manage just fine without it, it is nice to be able to get extras for him and not feel so tight on the budget.UGGG, such a pain. But he is such a blessing in our home, I will fight till the very end for him! He comes home and is so much more relaxed on school days. We are seeing major improvements. Signing seems to be coming along, we work on the same signs here at home that they work on at school.

Dalton, is doing awesome! Poor guy caught pink eye from Danica earlier this week and had a pretty hard time getting over it. But everything is looking to be on the up and up now. I think he really enjoys being the only one home during the day. He loves to help me while I am cleaning, cooking, feeding and watering the dog. Doesnt seem to matter what I am doing he always wants to be helping. I wish I had known how to calm down and get JD and Danica involved like I do with Dalton. Things just seem to go easier with him. Oh well you live and learn right?

So thats the update for everyone this week. All in all it has been a pretty good week. Seems that every night as we head off to bed, there seems to be a peace about that house that has been missing for a while. Hope it sticks around! I will really try to get pictures up later today. But I wanted to at least get you all up to date while I had a few moments without Dalt needing to help type! Love you ALL!

The Elrods!

p.s. Amazingtogether.blogspot....can I get an invite to your blog? carelrod@gmail.com or can you at least tell me who you are? :) Thanks :)