Kaden's Story

April is Autism awareness month. In honor of that I am writing Kadens story. I know I have written plenty about him. But this has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. Maybe this will be some sort of therapy for me. Who knows....
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew this baby was different. Our bond was so strong. I knew he was sent here to save me. To save our family. It wasn't the easiest time in our marriage. It felt like we were falling apart. Then this miracle happen. I hadn't been off birth control long and was planning on getting an IUD. Two kids was enough. Two kids kept me busy. Two kids was more then enough when you are in a struggling marriage. But Heavenly Father knew more then me. He knew something special needed to happen and something special did happen. Kaden happen.
Kadens story is not much different then the other I have read about. Kaden was born October 12, 2005. A perfect baby. Completely healthy. When Kaden was 6 weeks old his daddy had to deploy for the Navy. His mom was a wreck. She had gone back to Utah to live with her mom the last time he had deployed, she wasn't strong enough to do it on her own, she needed help. You see his mom has terrible panic attacks. But this time was different. This time she knew as long as she had Kaden in her arms she could accomplish anything. He was her security blanket. With him she could do anything. And she DID! She made it the whole 7 months Kadens dad was deployed. We took pictures for daddy everyday so he could see him grow and so he could see what we had been up to while he was away.



Before we knew it it was time for daddy to come home! Daddy loved playing with you and getting to know you. You were 8 months old.
And you weren't sitting on your own still. When it was time for your check up, I told the doctor I was worried. She was quick to push aside my fears and reassured me that all kids develop in their own time. But still I knew. I knew something was different.When you were about eleven months old you started sitting on your own! It was such a relief to me, yet I couldn't shake the fact that something was different.

You would talk you would say mama and dada, bye bye, see ya, and JD and Dana. You would blow kisses. You would look us in the eye, you would play with us. When you were about 14 or so months you started to crawl and pull yourself up
And again at your year check up, I told them something was wrong. Something was different. Babies younger then him were passing him up. I couldn't get you to eat solids. I would have to pry your mouth open and force feed you. And still my concerns were brushed off. "His weight is fine", kids develop in their own time" That's what they all told me. When you were about 18 months you started walking. OH HAPPY DAY! They are right you are meeting your mile stones, just in your own time. But still there was that nagging feeling something wasn't right. You had stopped talking. I still couldn't get you to eat. But I had found one meal that wasn't "out of the box" or chicken nuggets. It was my pork chops with cream of mushroom soup over rice. All to soon you quit eating that too. Don't get me wrong you eat, you just don't eat like you should. You loved crackers, chicken nuggets, cereal, chips and milk. I know milk isn't a food, but you act like it is. There were other changes too. You would spin, oh boy could you spin. You would climb up on my dinning room table and spin and spin. You could do it for 15 minutes straight, not show a sign of getting dizzy or ever falling off. You wouldn't talk, wouldn't blow kisses, or mimic me anymore. You didn't play with cars normally you would flip them over and spin the wheels. And again I marched you into the doctors office and expressed my concern. And again it didn't matter what I said, I was blown off again. He is fine, he is normal, he's doing great. You quit looking people in the eye, "he's just shy". I couldn't get you to look at the camera anymore.
My heart was breaking, I was losing you and no one would listen. To add to the stress you had a little brother on the way. Then one day you got a rash, I couldn't get you in to see your normal doctor, she was on maternity leave herself, so we had to go to a different doctor. As she was checking out your rash she started asking questions. Does he make eye contact with you? How does he play with toys? Hows his eating? She saw it, she knew. FINALLY! Finally someone saw it, finally someone listened! She told us she thought it might be autism and made a referral for us to have you tested!! YAY right? Nope. They had a huge waiting list and they couldn't see you for a month or 2. Ok we have waited this long. But here's more problems, remember that baby brother you had on the way, yep he was coming and they had an opening to test you a week after I had my c-section. I couldn't drive, I could barely walk and your daddy was in school for the Navy because we were MOVING!!!! To Lemoore, Ca SO I did what I do best I put it off. I am sorry, and your are going to hear that a lot in the next little bit. We moved, we got settled, we took you to the doctor to get you on the path to be tested. They dont do that here at the hospital so they made a referral to Stanford, but I could never get the right department even though I called the number they sent on the paperwork they had never heard of you. So I checked into somewhere else the doctor had mentioned. Central Valley Regional Center. Every time I thought I was going to get answers, it was another step that had to be completed first. Finally we got an appointment to see the doctor who would diagnose you. And that day he did diagnose you. He said I am sorry your child has autism. I said I know and I am ok with that, I have known for so long. He said no your not, you think you are but your not. And boy was he right. So the next step was wait for the paperwork. But while we were waiting on that paperwork some other test they wanted to run had come back and they had sent copies to the school district. So then we had to do more testing with the school district where again we were told you had autism. They had a special preschool they wanted you to go to. We went to the IEP, I filled out all the paperwork, but I didnt have your birth certificate, so I ordered it, it came and still I didnt go back to the school to put you in. I am sorry. I wasnt ready. You were only three. YOU belonged home with me. I can teach you. I can fix this. The school could have you when you were five just like all the other kids. SO that school year came and went. I kept promising myself that when the school year started again I would put you in, so the day before school started I went to register you. But you needed a TB test. So, I saw it as a sign and put it off again. I am sorry. Finally in January of 2010 your grandma came to visit. She said I am not leaving until he is in school and I dont care who I have to call he will be in school in the next two weeks. And boy did she get the ball rolling. You are now is school. You are making progress. You are amazing. You can take a bad day and make me smile. I love you Kade through the mess, the stress and everything else I thank Heavenly Father everyday for you. I know I am slow at doing things and I am working on it, But I promise to fight and do everything I can to save you, the way you save me and our family.