Wednesday, December 22, 2010

cough cough sniffle sniffle

Ugg! What is it with my family this year? We had the stomach flu the week before and the week of Thanksgiving. And now we are passing around tickle-y throats, coughs, and the sniffles. Cant we have a holiday where we aren't sick? Grandma Amy and maybe Grandpa Jerry are coming and I really don't have time to be sick. We would also hate to pass anything on. Add on the fact that we need to get the house in shape for inspection. Ugg! I know better then to complain it will just get worse BUT still...YUCK! Maybe we can have a healthy new year!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Big Brother Teasing

Goodness! It feels like every morning JD has to tease Danica and make her cry. It is so FRUSTRATING! All it takes is him making a noise at something she says and she is running and hiding and crying. Then I ave to search the house to find her and rush to hurry and finish helping her get ready for school. I have tried talking to both of them. I have told him he needs to stop especially in the morning. ( we are SO not morning people) That she is the only sister he has and it is his job to help protect her and make her feel confident in herself. Of course he doesnt listen. And I have told her she needs to ignore him, big brothers tease, but deep down he loves her. She doesnt listen either. Wish I could make it stop all together. The rest of the day they are the best of friends. If Danica has earned a treat she always shares with JD, and JD does the same for her. I just wish they wouldnt make the morning rush worse then it already is, especially on days like this when I have been up all night with Kaden (Midnight to 5) and for some special reason my brain couldn't settle between 8-midnight when all the house was asleep (it was amazing the whole house asleep by 8 NEVER happens in my house, probably why I couldnt sleep) So, so far I have slept between 5:45am and 7:00am. And the fighting woke Dalton up so now I have no chance of going back to sleep today. This mama is TIRED! Over and Out!
~Care

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Tagged

HAHAHA Thanks Tiffany!

4 Shows I Watch

1. Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives
2. Warehouse 13
3. Teen Mom
4. Secret Life of the American Teenager

4 Things I'm Passionate About

1. My Hubby
2. My Kids
3. Understanding Autism, not looking for a cure, just trying to understand it
4. My Friends

4 Things I have Learned From the Past

1. Your friends can and do become family
2. Family is EVERYTHING
3. Behind every trial, every bump in the road there is a lesson and a blessing.
4. I am stronger then I think and need to believe in myself more.

4 Places I Would Like to Go

1. Back to Hawaii
2. Greece
3. Italy
4. I guess where ever the Navy takes us next :)

4 Things I Did Yesterday

1. Got the kids up and ready for school
2. Made 3 meals :)
3. went for a walk
4. Read the kids bedtime stories

4 Things I'm Looking Forward to

1. Christmas-- First year in a LONG time I can honestly say that
2. Our Move
3. Fixing up our new house and surprising JD and Danica with new rooms.
4. Sleep--- Hey you asked and its the honest truth. I was bless with 4 kids who don't believe in sleep

4 Things I Love About Winter

1. Winter? What is this winter you speak of? First Hawaii, now Cali, yeah not much winter going on
2. Hot chocolate
3. soup, soup and more soup
4. The holidays :)

4 Things on My Wish List

1. No more anxiety attacks
2. A safe and peaceful travel across the country to our new home
3. More Kids ( yes, I am well aware it wont happen, tubes are tied, the ship has sailed, but I would love more and its my wish)
4. Temple Sealing
.......

5. A little weight loss wouldn't hurt (hehehe I cheated!)

I tag Kristine and Nicci! And really anyone else who reads this and wants to, because I am not to sure on who all reads this.

Kristy, Add me on Facebook if you are on there, it is the best way for me to keep in touch! I have missed chatting with you.

I so could not be a special needs teacher

or bus driver, or aide.....Good thing I get to be the mommy.
Today when the bus came to pick up Kaden I could hear a child crying, not a bad cry, but crying nonetheless, it broke my heart :( The bus driver was doing the best he could to comfort that child as we were walking down the driveway. But the mommy in me wanted to race on that bus and hold that child and comfort them. As I am walking away from the bus after handing over my precious piece of cargo, I could hear the bus driver say ok its time to go to sleep. LOL and they were off. Hope that poor kid got to fall back asleep I think they have a pretty long ride to the next bus stop.
Its little things like that that make it so hard for me to send Kaden to school. Or like when I ask the bus driver to please make sure Kaden doesnt get too hot with the heater going plus his winter coat on because he will get car sick on them, and to see the look of panic in their eyes. Or to get a call from the nurse saying your child screamed bloody murder all the way to school and so they had her meet the bus at school to check him out....thinking they let him get too hot...just my mommy opinion. Or when the teacher calls to tell me my child has been upset all day and is there anything I can do to fix it. Well no there isnt anything I can do while he he is in your care. Its out of my hands, I hate having him in the care of another. They dont know him like I do. When you get these calls it breaks your heart and you want to run to the school or the bus and rip your child from them and never return them. Or maybe thats just me. BUT I know he needs to be at school. I know he is learning and making amazing leaps and bounds. He is making new noises that are starting to sound more like words. He is doing wonderful with his PECS. (A picture way of communicating) In fact we have to have a new IEP to help set new goals for him in Jan...Right before we leave, but he should be able to go into his new school with a new set of goals. And I know it will be hard to see him struggle to get into a new routine at a new school. But these little mile stones make it all worth it in the end.
Some would say he is spoiled, or I dont work had enough with him. But I dont believe that is true. You want to know how I know? Kaden will only sign for his family. His teachers have no idea nor have they seen his signing. Kaden has just recently started giving kisses ON HIS OWN. No more chasing him down to love on him. he comes to me and when we are walking somewhere and he id holding my hand and presses his lips to my arm, its not just to wipe his nose anymore. He LOVES me. I have seen him go up to his brothers and sisters and hug them and giggle when they hug him back. He is loved, he feels safe enough to let down some walls. And while he can not talk and tell me he loves me, I know he does and I know he feels the love we all have for him.
Anywho, my point is I could never be his teacher...I know what he wants and it frustrates me to no end to have to fight with him about grabbing the card off the chart before giving it to him and he knows I will give in after a bit. I couldnt be the bus driver we would never make it to school because I would want to pull over and snuggle every upset child :) I couldnt be the aide for the same reason I couldnt be the teacher. But I am so very grateful I get to be the mommy.

Sorry another Kaden post I know. But it was on my mind this morning and I had time before it was time to wake up the next round of school goers. Time to get them up! Have a great day all! :)
~care

Monday, December 13, 2010

Christmas and Autism (or any get together for that matter )

I received this in an email and honestly I couldnt have written it better. I know we have tons of family who cant wait to see us again and we cant wait either. Please understand if we( and by we I mean I, we all know Vernon isn't too social) aren't as social as we once were or if we feel we can not come to a particular event. We want to be there. But Kaden has changed our life. And we wouldn't trade him for anything! Between him and my lovely anxiety attacks. We just arent what we used to be. But we are both working to better ourselves. In time things will get easier. Please try to be understanding :)


Dear Family and Friends:

I understand that we will be visiting each other for the holidays this year! Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is some information that might help our visit to be more successful. As you probably know, a hidden disability called autism, or what some people refer to as a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), challenges me. Autism/PDD is a neurodevelopment disorder, which makes it hard for me to understand the environment around me. I have barriers in my brain that you can’t see, but which make it difficult for me to adapt to my surroundings.

Christmas is one of the roughest holidays for me. With large crowds and holiday shopping it can be very overwhelming, even a bit scary. When planning a party remember that with my over sensitive hearing and eye sight, Christmas trees and holiday smells can cause me mild to severe pain or discomfort. If the noises are impossible to control a personal stereo with headphones set to a safe level for children may help drown out background noise and ease my discomfort.

Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt, but it is only that because I have to try so hard to understand people and at the same time, make myself understood. People with autism have different abilities: some may not speak, some write beautiful poetry, others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein was thought to be autistic), or may have difficulty making friends. We are all different and need various degrees of support.

Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and make me want to run away. I get easily frustrated too. Being with lots of other people is like standing next to a moving freight train and trying to decide how and when to jump aboard. I feel frightened and confused a lot of the time. This is why I need to have things the same as much as possible. Once I learn how things happen, I can get by OK. But if something, anything, changes, then I have to relearn the situation all over again! It is very hard.

When you try to talk to me, I often can’t understand what you say because there is a lot of distraction around. I have to concentrate very hard to hear and understand one thing at a time. You might think I am ignoring you-I am not. Rather, I am hearing everything and not knowing what is most important to respond to.

Holidays are exceptionally hard because there are so many different people, places, and things going on that are out of my ordinary realm. This may be fun and adventurous for most people, but for me, it’s very hard work and can be extremely stressful. I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down. It would be great if you had a private place set up to where I could retreat.

If I cannot sit at the meal table, do not think I am misbehaving or that my parents have no control over me. Sitting in one place for even five minutes is often impossible for me. I feel so antsy and overwhelmed by all the smells, sounds, and people–I just have to get up and move about. Please don’t hold up your meal for me–go on without me, and my parents will handle the situation the best way they know how.

Eating in general is hard for me. If you understand that autism is a sensory processing disorder, it’s no wonder eating is a problem! Think of all the senses involved with eating. Sight, smell, taste, touch, AND all the complicated mechanics that are involved. Chewing and swallowing is something that a lot of people with autism have trouble with. I am not being picky-I literally cannot eat certain foods as my sensory system and/or oral motor coordination is impaired. Don’t be disappointed if Mom hasn’t dressed me in starch and bows. It’s because she knows how much stiff and frilly clothes can drive me buggy! I have to feel comfortable in my clothes or I will just be miserable. When I go to someone else’s house, I may appear bossy and controlling. In a sense, I am being controlling, because that is how I try to fit into the world around me (which is so hard to figure out!) Things have to be done in a way I am familiar with or else I might get confused and frustrated. It doesn’t mean you have to change the way you are doing things–just please be patient with me, and understanding of how I have to cope. Mom and Dad have no control over how my autism makes me feel inside. People with autism often have little things that they do to help themselves feel more comfortable. The grown ups call it “self regulation,” or “stimming’. I might rock, hum, flick my fingers, or any number of different things. I am not trying to be disruptive or weird. Again, I am doing what I have to do for my brain to adapt to your world. Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, or doing an activity I enjoy. The grown-ups call this “perseverating” which is kind-a-like self- regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable. Perseverative behaviors are good to a certain degree because they help me calm down.

Please be respectful to my Mom and Dad if they let me “stim” for a while as they know me best and what helps to calm me. Remember that my Mom and Dad have to watch me much more closely than the average child. This is for my own safety, and preservation of your possessions. It hurts my parents’ feelings to be criticized for being over protective, or condemned for not watching me close enough. They are human and have been given an assignment intended for saints. My parents are good people and need your support.

Holidays are filled with sights, sounds, and smells. The average household is turned into a busy, frantic, festive place. Remember that this may be fun for you, but it’s very hard work for me to conform. If I fall apart or act out in a way that you consider socially inappropriate, please remember that I don’t possess the neurological system that is required to follow some social rules. I am a unique person–an interesting person. I will find my place at this celebration that is comfortable for us all, as long as you’ll try to view the world through my eyes!

*Author, Viki Gayhardt

Well Hello, We are moving!!

First of all an apology. I know a lot of you have probably givin up on me and I understand. I have not wanted to blog at all since the loss of my camera. No pictures= no want to blog. I am hoping either Santa or the tax return fairy will spoil me with a new one.
Second, Lots of changes going on around here. We finally got our new location the Navy feels they need us! We are moving to Norfolk, VA! I have to admit I had my heart set on Washington and we were accepted for Washington orders, but then they changed their mind and felt they didnt have the correct help for Kaden at the hospital so they offered us Norfolk. I admit it, I cried, I threw a fit, I whined and was a big baby about it. But I am over it. I am excited to be close to our east coast family again. I know they are excited to see us too. (east coast family, actually all family and friends please read the post above this, it best explains our situation with our Kaden) We have asked that our belongings be picked up on the 27 of Jan and our final inspection on our house be the 31 of Jan. Then we are off! Woohooo! We are going to try to get across the country as fast as possible. Kaden is not going to enjoy being in the car for days on end. Well who would really? We are making a huge decision with our 2 older kids. I am not sure its what I want. But I am thinking it is for the best. It is looking like they will not be joining us for the trip cross country until school is out for the summer. They will stay with my mom in Utah to finish the school year so they arent missing school for a month or more while we try to get into housing. I am having a hard time with this. My mom is super happy! Vernon is pretty happy too. It will mean more room in my small vehicle, getting the house set up with less kids underfoot. Not worrying about how much school they are missing when JD is already struggling. But still makes me sad to think about. I know my dad and Melanie offered the same thing and we are so grateful, but they would still be missing school for travel time. I dont know what will happen for sure, but that is the plan for the moment. Danica has had a birthday (8) and so has Kaden (5) and Vernon has too (29, wow he is getting old, hahaha) I can not believe how big my kids are getting. The school year has been going on and we have had lots of ups and downs with Kadens school, mostly the busing situation. JD is having a very hard time this year with school. It is so hard to see your kid struggle and not know how to "fix" it. Danica is doing great with school. It seems to be a breeze for her. The difference in the kids is amazing. Dalton is stuck at home and enjoys "mommy school" but cant wait for the day he can go to school like the big kids. Vernon has advanced in pay grade, he is now an AT1 (E-6) and I could not be more proud of him! a Huge Congrats to him he has worked very hard for this and it has finally paid off we can now retire at 20 year if he chooses! (and he will, I will make sure) Hmmm guess thats all for now! Hope everyone is doing well!
~Care