cough cough sniffle sniffle

Ugg! What is it with my family this year? We had the stomach flu the week before and the week of Thanksgiving. And now we are passing around tickle-y throats, coughs, and the sniffles. Cant we have a holiday where we aren't sick? Grandma Amy and maybe Grandpa Jerry are coming and I really don't have time to be sick. We would also hate to pass anything on. Add on the fact that we need to get the house in shape for inspection. Ugg! I know better then to complain it will just get worse BUT still...YUCK! Maybe we can have a healthy new year!

Big Brother Teasing

Goodness! It feels like every morning JD has to tease Danica and make her cry. It is so FRUSTRATING! All it takes is him making a noise at something she says and she is running and hiding and crying. Then I ave to search the house to find her and rush to hurry and finish helping her get ready for school. I have tried talking to both of them. I have told him he needs to stop especially in the morning. ( we are SO not morning people) That she is the only sister he has and it is his job to help protect her and make her feel confident in herself. Of course he doesnt listen. And I have told her she needs to ignore him, big brothers tease, but deep down he loves her. She doesnt listen either. Wish I could make it stop all together. The rest of the day they are the best of friends. If Danica has earned a treat she always shares with JD, and JD does the same for her. I just wish they wouldnt make the morning rush worse then it already is, especially on days like this when I have been up all night with Kaden (Midnight to 5) and for some special reason my brain couldn't settle between 8-midnight when all the house was asleep (it was amazing the whole house asleep by 8 NEVER happens in my house, probably why I couldnt sleep) So, so far I have slept between 5:45am and 7:00am. And the fighting woke Dalton up so now I have no chance of going back to sleep today. This mama is TIRED! Over and Out!
~Care

Tagged

HAHAHA Thanks Tiffany!

4 Shows I Watch

1. Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives
2. Warehouse 13
3. Teen Mom
4. Secret Life of the American Teenager

4 Things I'm Passionate About

1. My Hubby
2. My Kids
3. Understanding Autism, not looking for a cure, just trying to understand it
4. My Friends

4 Things I have Learned From the Past

1. Your friends can and do become family
2. Family is EVERYTHING
3. Behind every trial, every bump in the road there is a lesson and a blessing.
4. I am stronger then I think and need to believe in myself more.

4 Places I Would Like to Go

1. Back to Hawaii
2. Greece
3. Italy
4. I guess where ever the Navy takes us next :)

4 Things I Did Yesterday

1. Got the kids up and ready for school
2. Made 3 meals :)
3. went for a walk
4. Read the kids bedtime stories

4 Things I'm Looking Forward to

1. Christmas-- First year in a LONG time I can honestly say that
2. Our Move
3. Fixing up our new house and surprising JD and Danica with new rooms.
4. Sleep--- Hey you asked and its the honest truth. I was bless with 4 kids who don't believe in sleep

4 Things I Love About Winter

1. Winter? What is this winter you speak of? First Hawaii, now Cali, yeah not much winter going on
2. Hot chocolate
3. soup, soup and more soup
4. The holidays :)

4 Things on My Wish List

1. No more anxiety attacks
2. A safe and peaceful travel across the country to our new home
3. More Kids ( yes, I am well aware it wont happen, tubes are tied, the ship has sailed, but I would love more and its my wish)
4. Temple Sealing
.......

5. A little weight loss wouldn't hurt (hehehe I cheated!)

I tag Kristine and Nicci! And really anyone else who reads this and wants to, because I am not to sure on who all reads this.

Kristy, Add me on Facebook if you are on there, it is the best way for me to keep in touch! I have missed chatting with you.

I so could not be a special needs teacher

or bus driver, or aide.....Good thing I get to be the mommy.
Today when the bus came to pick up Kaden I could hear a child crying, not a bad cry, but crying nonetheless, it broke my heart :( The bus driver was doing the best he could to comfort that child as we were walking down the driveway. But the mommy in me wanted to race on that bus and hold that child and comfort them. As I am walking away from the bus after handing over my precious piece of cargo, I could hear the bus driver say ok its time to go to sleep. LOL and they were off. Hope that poor kid got to fall back asleep I think they have a pretty long ride to the next bus stop.
Its little things like that that make it so hard for me to send Kaden to school. Or like when I ask the bus driver to please make sure Kaden doesnt get too hot with the heater going plus his winter coat on because he will get car sick on them, and to see the look of panic in their eyes. Or to get a call from the nurse saying your child screamed bloody murder all the way to school and so they had her meet the bus at school to check him out....thinking they let him get too hot...just my mommy opinion. Or when the teacher calls to tell me my child has been upset all day and is there anything I can do to fix it. Well no there isnt anything I can do while he he is in your care. Its out of my hands, I hate having him in the care of another. They dont know him like I do. When you get these calls it breaks your heart and you want to run to the school or the bus and rip your child from them and never return them. Or maybe thats just me. BUT I know he needs to be at school. I know he is learning and making amazing leaps and bounds. He is making new noises that are starting to sound more like words. He is doing wonderful with his PECS. (A picture way of communicating) In fact we have to have a new IEP to help set new goals for him in Jan...Right before we leave, but he should be able to go into his new school with a new set of goals. And I know it will be hard to see him struggle to get into a new routine at a new school. But these little mile stones make it all worth it in the end.
Some would say he is spoiled, or I dont work had enough with him. But I dont believe that is true. You want to know how I know? Kaden will only sign for his family. His teachers have no idea nor have they seen his signing. Kaden has just recently started giving kisses ON HIS OWN. No more chasing him down to love on him. he comes to me and when we are walking somewhere and he id holding my hand and presses his lips to my arm, its not just to wipe his nose anymore. He LOVES me. I have seen him go up to his brothers and sisters and hug them and giggle when they hug him back. He is loved, he feels safe enough to let down some walls. And while he can not talk and tell me he loves me, I know he does and I know he feels the love we all have for him.
Anywho, my point is I could never be his teacher...I know what he wants and it frustrates me to no end to have to fight with him about grabbing the card off the chart before giving it to him and he knows I will give in after a bit. I couldnt be the bus driver we would never make it to school because I would want to pull over and snuggle every upset child :) I couldnt be the aide for the same reason I couldnt be the teacher. But I am so very grateful I get to be the mommy.

Sorry another Kaden post I know. But it was on my mind this morning and I had time before it was time to wake up the next round of school goers. Time to get them up! Have a great day all! :)
~care

Christmas and Autism (or any get together for that matter )

I received this in an email and honestly I couldnt have written it better. I know we have tons of family who cant wait to see us again and we cant wait either. Please understand if we( and by we I mean I, we all know Vernon isn't too social) aren't as social as we once were or if we feel we can not come to a particular event. We want to be there. But Kaden has changed our life. And we wouldn't trade him for anything! Between him and my lovely anxiety attacks. We just arent what we used to be. But we are both working to better ourselves. In time things will get easier. Please try to be understanding :)


Dear Family and Friends:

I understand that we will be visiting each other for the holidays this year! Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is some information that might help our visit to be more successful. As you probably know, a hidden disability called autism, or what some people refer to as a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), challenges me. Autism/PDD is a neurodevelopment disorder, which makes it hard for me to understand the environment around me. I have barriers in my brain that you can’t see, but which make it difficult for me to adapt to my surroundings.

Christmas is one of the roughest holidays for me. With large crowds and holiday shopping it can be very overwhelming, even a bit scary. When planning a party remember that with my over sensitive hearing and eye sight, Christmas trees and holiday smells can cause me mild to severe pain or discomfort. If the noises are impossible to control a personal stereo with headphones set to a safe level for children may help drown out background noise and ease my discomfort.

Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt, but it is only that because I have to try so hard to understand people and at the same time, make myself understood. People with autism have different abilities: some may not speak, some write beautiful poetry, others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein was thought to be autistic), or may have difficulty making friends. We are all different and need various degrees of support.

Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and make me want to run away. I get easily frustrated too. Being with lots of other people is like standing next to a moving freight train and trying to decide how and when to jump aboard. I feel frightened and confused a lot of the time. This is why I need to have things the same as much as possible. Once I learn how things happen, I can get by OK. But if something, anything, changes, then I have to relearn the situation all over again! It is very hard.

When you try to talk to me, I often can’t understand what you say because there is a lot of distraction around. I have to concentrate very hard to hear and understand one thing at a time. You might think I am ignoring you-I am not. Rather, I am hearing everything and not knowing what is most important to respond to.

Holidays are exceptionally hard because there are so many different people, places, and things going on that are out of my ordinary realm. This may be fun and adventurous for most people, but for me, it’s very hard work and can be extremely stressful. I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down. It would be great if you had a private place set up to where I could retreat.

If I cannot sit at the meal table, do not think I am misbehaving or that my parents have no control over me. Sitting in one place for even five minutes is often impossible for me. I feel so antsy and overwhelmed by all the smells, sounds, and people–I just have to get up and move about. Please don’t hold up your meal for me–go on without me, and my parents will handle the situation the best way they know how.

Eating in general is hard for me. If you understand that autism is a sensory processing disorder, it’s no wonder eating is a problem! Think of all the senses involved with eating. Sight, smell, taste, touch, AND all the complicated mechanics that are involved. Chewing and swallowing is something that a lot of people with autism have trouble with. I am not being picky-I literally cannot eat certain foods as my sensory system and/or oral motor coordination is impaired. Don’t be disappointed if Mom hasn’t dressed me in starch and bows. It’s because she knows how much stiff and frilly clothes can drive me buggy! I have to feel comfortable in my clothes or I will just be miserable. When I go to someone else’s house, I may appear bossy and controlling. In a sense, I am being controlling, because that is how I try to fit into the world around me (which is so hard to figure out!) Things have to be done in a way I am familiar with or else I might get confused and frustrated. It doesn’t mean you have to change the way you are doing things–just please be patient with me, and understanding of how I have to cope. Mom and Dad have no control over how my autism makes me feel inside. People with autism often have little things that they do to help themselves feel more comfortable. The grown ups call it “self regulation,” or “stimming’. I might rock, hum, flick my fingers, or any number of different things. I am not trying to be disruptive or weird. Again, I am doing what I have to do for my brain to adapt to your world. Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, or doing an activity I enjoy. The grown-ups call this “perseverating” which is kind-a-like self- regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable. Perseverative behaviors are good to a certain degree because they help me calm down.

Please be respectful to my Mom and Dad if they let me “stim” for a while as they know me best and what helps to calm me. Remember that my Mom and Dad have to watch me much more closely than the average child. This is for my own safety, and preservation of your possessions. It hurts my parents’ feelings to be criticized for being over protective, or condemned for not watching me close enough. They are human and have been given an assignment intended for saints. My parents are good people and need your support.

Holidays are filled with sights, sounds, and smells. The average household is turned into a busy, frantic, festive place. Remember that this may be fun for you, but it’s very hard work for me to conform. If I fall apart or act out in a way that you consider socially inappropriate, please remember that I don’t possess the neurological system that is required to follow some social rules. I am a unique person–an interesting person. I will find my place at this celebration that is comfortable for us all, as long as you’ll try to view the world through my eyes!

*Author, Viki Gayhardt

Well Hello, We are moving!!

First of all an apology. I know a lot of you have probably givin up on me and I understand. I have not wanted to blog at all since the loss of my camera. No pictures= no want to blog. I am hoping either Santa or the tax return fairy will spoil me with a new one.
Second, Lots of changes going on around here. We finally got our new location the Navy feels they need us! We are moving to Norfolk, VA! I have to admit I had my heart set on Washington and we were accepted for Washington orders, but then they changed their mind and felt they didnt have the correct help for Kaden at the hospital so they offered us Norfolk. I admit it, I cried, I threw a fit, I whined and was a big baby about it. But I am over it. I am excited to be close to our east coast family again. I know they are excited to see us too. (east coast family, actually all family and friends please read the post above this, it best explains our situation with our Kaden) We have asked that our belongings be picked up on the 27 of Jan and our final inspection on our house be the 31 of Jan. Then we are off! Woohooo! We are going to try to get across the country as fast as possible. Kaden is not going to enjoy being in the car for days on end. Well who would really? We are making a huge decision with our 2 older kids. I am not sure its what I want. But I am thinking it is for the best. It is looking like they will not be joining us for the trip cross country until school is out for the summer. They will stay with my mom in Utah to finish the school year so they arent missing school for a month or more while we try to get into housing. I am having a hard time with this. My mom is super happy! Vernon is pretty happy too. It will mean more room in my small vehicle, getting the house set up with less kids underfoot. Not worrying about how much school they are missing when JD is already struggling. But still makes me sad to think about. I know my dad and Melanie offered the same thing and we are so grateful, but they would still be missing school for travel time. I dont know what will happen for sure, but that is the plan for the moment. Danica has had a birthday (8) and so has Kaden (5) and Vernon has too (29, wow he is getting old, hahaha) I can not believe how big my kids are getting. The school year has been going on and we have had lots of ups and downs with Kadens school, mostly the busing situation. JD is having a very hard time this year with school. It is so hard to see your kid struggle and not know how to "fix" it. Danica is doing great with school. It seems to be a breeze for her. The difference in the kids is amazing. Dalton is stuck at home and enjoys "mommy school" but cant wait for the day he can go to school like the big kids. Vernon has advanced in pay grade, he is now an AT1 (E-6) and I could not be more proud of him! a Huge Congrats to him he has worked very hard for this and it has finally paid off we can now retire at 20 year if he chooses! (and he will, I will make sure) Hmmm guess thats all for now! Hope everyone is doing well!
~Care

hello again

We are back from our vacation. The kids had a blast with grandma. We are very sorry we didnt get to see family in Nebraska. We are totally bummed we couldnt make it work out. You may or may not have noticed but I failed miserably at my 365 blog. I am thinking I will start it back up once school starts. We shall see. We are up for orders, we had to wait a month to find out Kadens rating with the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFM) He is rated as a cat 5 (there are only 5 bases the navy has who have cat 5 hospitals) we got the letter when we got home and we could have applied for orders BUT we were gone and didnt know. The letter says we have to move as quick as possible. Please say a prayer we make the right choice on where to live and what is best for our family especially our Kaden. So if any of you are in the know or just want to voice you opinion on Bremerton WA, San Diego CA, Jacksonville FL, Washington DC, Or Norfolk VA Area. Get a hold of me or Vernon. Call, Facebook, Email.....we are confused and need all the input we can get. Love you all! Until next time, hope you all are well.
Care

New Age, New Blog, New lifestyle

Tomorrow I am turning 29. Not so sure how I feel about being a year away from 30. Most days I feel like I am still 16 and at a never ending babysitting job with my best friend/boyfriend. I am finding it so hard to believe that 10 years ago I was graduating high school without a plan. My friends were either married or heading off to college and here I was in love with a guy heading off to the Navy. In those 10 years I have gotten married, had 4 beautiful, wild, amazing kids, and still don't have a plan! I just do my best to take it one day at a time right now. I am hoping to try out college once Dalton is in preschool. But we will have to see where the Navy takes us first. If I cant find a good school for Kaden I may try my hand at homeschooling him with a little help from the Navy and the programs they provide for kids with autism.

I got this idea from a friend of mine for a new blog so I am going to give it a go...I may fail miserably, BUT I am gonna give it a try so be sure to check here daily http://365oftheelrods.blogspot.com/ Everyday I will post a picture and maybe a brief sentence or two of what we did that day. I will still be using this blog (hopefully on a weekly basis) for a bigger glimpse into our life. The kids are growing so fast and changing so much. I really want to have a small day by day for me to look back on. JD and Danica are going away to stay with Grandma Amy and Grandpa Jerry for the month of June and then may stay part of Aug too, so for a while the blog will have 2 pictures a day. One from me, Vern, Kade, and Dalt. And then one of what JD and Danica have been up to.

Now onto the new lifestyle. I am fluffy, I am an unhealthy fluffy, so what a better way to start out a new age and the summer then with a new and improved lifestyle? So for the summer I will be walking, cutting out coke, eating fresh fruits and veggies from the farmers market and eating lean meats and fish that will be lovingly prepared by my hubby out on the grill. I am going to try to cut out a LOT of carbs and sugar. But I am not going to drive myself crazy over it. I am not even calling it a diet. Just a new way of eating for the summer. I am also working hard on setting up a schedule system like Kaden has at school for home during the summer. Speaking of Kaden, he was selected to be in a special program next week with the head autism specialist from UCLA. He will be a student volunteer for the training of the teachers who work with kids with Autism. Its a 4 day intense program. It is the same program the Navy has to offer. So, I know that if I need to home school him I will have help and I will be able to do it. Anywho, I will post pictures when his schedule board is finished and try to explain it better.

Hmmm, thought I had more to say, but I cant remember what so I guess that's all for now folks! Love and miss you all!

End of year awards assembly

Today was the end of year awards assembly and I got a note from Danica's teacher saying she would be getting an award :) She has mastered her 1,2,5,&10's multiplication tables! Woohooo! She is well on her way to being prepared for next year! Way to go Danica!!!

All about JD

On May 27, JD had his end of year program/open house. He did such an awesome job. Here are a few pictures of the night. Some during his program and some of the things in his classroom he got to show off during his open house. After he wanted to do a photo shoot with me, so there is also a collage of the pictures we took.

 

JD requested a post just for him all about him sooooo..........

The rest is about to get sappy so prepare yourself ;)

Dear JD,
You are such an amazing young man. I LOVE being your mommy and watching you grow and learn. You are becoming such and amazing little man. You are so smart and continually surprise me with your wit and knowledge. You are such a good big brother and help me so much. I wish time would slow down, it seems like it was just the other day I was bringing you home from the hospital and now you are nine years old. Where has the time gone? I love you! Thank you for being such an amazing part of our family. I love you, Mommy. Oh one more thing...A friend of mine posted this poem that was given to her son and I wanted to share it with you. I think it has some very important lessons.

IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look to good, nor talk to wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams
your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make on heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold On!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling

I want time to stop

You know growing up I couldn't wait to hit 12 and after 12 was 16, then 18. I am sure my kids feel the same way and while I spend a lot of time wishing they would just grow up, ( I am getting much better at trying to let them just be kids and make sure that we daily spend time outside together as a family making memories) right now I just want time to slow down. My kids are growing up too fast. It wont be much longer that I will be able to get them to play in a pool like this in our front yard. They already try to run from my good bye kiss in the morning after I walk them to school. I guess soon they wont let me do that anymore either. Can't time just slow down for a bit? I'm not ready for my kids to grow up!!!!

Kaden was in....

Special Olympics!!! Vernon had duty and we didn't know Kaden would be participating otherwise we would have made every effort to be there and take a ton of pictures and support our little guy. But here is a picture of him and his ribbon when he got home from school.

 

If they gave out a medal for playing in the dirt I swear Kaden would win the gold! The boy was head to toe in dirt and sand when he got home. So proud of our little guy!

Oh my

It has been a long time since I posted again. That doesn't mean we haven't done anything though. We have been busy having fun! Here are some pictures and a little recap for all of you... Dalton loves to make the family laugh and we were rolling when he did this, he did it on his own and every time I would fix his shirt, he would reach back and pull it back up like that. And look at those dimples!!!

In the middle of April beginning of May the farm stands start popping up. Its one of our favorite things to do on Saturday morning. On this weekend we stopped and they had the most beautiful strawberries. As you can see Dalton LOVED them. JD and Danica ate and ate and ate them, but were way to fast at eating them to get any pictures.



The weather has been wonderful! We have spent a lot of time "hanging" out. JD and Danica got 2 huge boxes of books from Grandma Amy and they have been devouring them. Makes my heart soar to see my kids enjoying books so much. It kind of figures since both Vernon and I love to read. But still I always worry that they wouldn't. And speaking of weather the weather has been so nice that we have been playing in the pool!!!! Bet you can guess who loved it the most???


KADEN!!! He would live in the pool if he could I think. We have to pull him out when he is freezing and covered in goose bumps and even then he fights us and as soon as he is warmed up he is trying to get back outside and get in again. Dalton surprised me and for a long time wanted nothing to do with the pool. Him and Danica would rather lay out on towels and enjoy the sun.But he did finally try and I didn't get a picture of him in it, just him undressing himself to get in. Vernon does a very good job helping me watch the kids in the pool, dont ya think? Speaking of Vernon, here is what he has been up to... he refinished this guns stock and I think it turned out awesome! He also tries to get out to the range to shoot once a week. He he is with his fireball shooting gun Dalton and I went out with Vernon this last Friday and Dalton wanted his picture too.... So as you can see things have been pretty relaxed and laid back around the Elrod household these days. We have been trying to get out every evening and go for a walk or to the park or even just play frisbee in our front yard. It has been wonderful for us. I think we would all agree it is the best part of the day. As for pictures of me, well that would be no fun! Who wants pictures of me cooking, cleaning, changing diapers or chasing down the younger 2 kids...you, well keep dreaming! :) LOVE YOU ALL! Until next time! Bye for now. Oh sorry some of the pix posted out of order. HAHAHA but hey at least they are all there.

Happy Mothers Day

 

Kaden's Story

April is Autism awareness month. In honor of that I am writing Kadens story. I know I have written plenty about him. But this has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. Maybe this will be some sort of therapy for me. Who knows....
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew this baby was different. Our bond was so strong. I knew he was sent here to save me. To save our family. It wasn't the easiest time in our marriage. It felt like we were falling apart. Then this miracle happen. I hadn't been off birth control long and was planning on getting an IUD. Two kids was enough. Two kids kept me busy. Two kids was more then enough when you are in a struggling marriage. But Heavenly Father knew more then me. He knew something special needed to happen and something special did happen. Kaden happen.
Kadens story is not much different then the other I have read about. Kaden was born October 12, 2005. A perfect baby. Completely healthy. When Kaden was 6 weeks old his daddy had to deploy for the Navy. His mom was a wreck. She had gone back to Utah to live with her mom the last time he had deployed, she wasn't strong enough to do it on her own, she needed help. You see his mom has terrible panic attacks. But this time was different. This time she knew as long as she had Kaden in her arms she could accomplish anything. He was her security blanket. With him she could do anything. And she DID! She made it the whole 7 months Kadens dad was deployed. We took pictures for daddy everyday so he could see him grow and so he could see what we had been up to while he was away.



Before we knew it it was time for daddy to come home! Daddy loved playing with you and getting to know you. You were 8 months old.
And you weren't sitting on your own still. When it was time for your check up, I told the doctor I was worried. She was quick to push aside my fears and reassured me that all kids develop in their own time. But still I knew. I knew something was different.When you were about eleven months old you started sitting on your own! It was such a relief to me, yet I couldn't shake the fact that something was different.

You would talk you would say mama and dada, bye bye, see ya, and JD and Dana. You would blow kisses. You would look us in the eye, you would play with us. When you were about 14 or so months you started to crawl and pull yourself up
And again at your year check up, I told them something was wrong. Something was different. Babies younger then him were passing him up. I couldn't get you to eat solids. I would have to pry your mouth open and force feed you. And still my concerns were brushed off. "His weight is fine", kids develop in their own time" That's what they all told me. When you were about 18 months you started walking. OH HAPPY DAY! They are right you are meeting your mile stones, just in your own time. But still there was that nagging feeling something wasn't right. You had stopped talking. I still couldn't get you to eat. But I had found one meal that wasn't "out of the box" or chicken nuggets. It was my pork chops with cream of mushroom soup over rice. All to soon you quit eating that too. Don't get me wrong you eat, you just don't eat like you should. You loved crackers, chicken nuggets, cereal, chips and milk. I know milk isn't a food, but you act like it is. There were other changes too. You would spin, oh boy could you spin. You would climb up on my dinning room table and spin and spin. You could do it for 15 minutes straight, not show a sign of getting dizzy or ever falling off. You wouldn't talk, wouldn't blow kisses, or mimic me anymore. You didn't play with cars normally you would flip them over and spin the wheels. And again I marched you into the doctors office and expressed my concern. And again it didn't matter what I said, I was blown off again. He is fine, he is normal, he's doing great. You quit looking people in the eye, "he's just shy". I couldn't get you to look at the camera anymore.
My heart was breaking, I was losing you and no one would listen. To add to the stress you had a little brother on the way. Then one day you got a rash, I couldn't get you in to see your normal doctor, she was on maternity leave herself, so we had to go to a different doctor. As she was checking out your rash she started asking questions. Does he make eye contact with you? How does he play with toys? Hows his eating? She saw it, she knew. FINALLY! Finally someone saw it, finally someone listened! She told us she thought it might be autism and made a referral for us to have you tested!! YAY right? Nope. They had a huge waiting list and they couldn't see you for a month or 2. Ok we have waited this long. But here's more problems, remember that baby brother you had on the way, yep he was coming and they had an opening to test you a week after I had my c-section. I couldn't drive, I could barely walk and your daddy was in school for the Navy because we were MOVING!!!! To Lemoore, Ca SO I did what I do best I put it off. I am sorry, and your are going to hear that a lot in the next little bit. We moved, we got settled, we took you to the doctor to get you on the path to be tested. They dont do that here at the hospital so they made a referral to Stanford, but I could never get the right department even though I called the number they sent on the paperwork they had never heard of you. So I checked into somewhere else the doctor had mentioned. Central Valley Regional Center. Every time I thought I was going to get answers, it was another step that had to be completed first. Finally we got an appointment to see the doctor who would diagnose you. And that day he did diagnose you. He said I am sorry your child has autism. I said I know and I am ok with that, I have known for so long. He said no your not, you think you are but your not. And boy was he right. So the next step was wait for the paperwork. But while we were waiting on that paperwork some other test they wanted to run had come back and they had sent copies to the school district. So then we had to do more testing with the school district where again we were told you had autism. They had a special preschool they wanted you to go to. We went to the IEP, I filled out all the paperwork, but I didnt have your birth certificate, so I ordered it, it came and still I didnt go back to the school to put you in. I am sorry. I wasnt ready. You were only three. YOU belonged home with me. I can teach you. I can fix this. The school could have you when you were five just like all the other kids. SO that school year came and went. I kept promising myself that when the school year started again I would put you in, so the day before school started I went to register you. But you needed a TB test. So, I saw it as a sign and put it off again. I am sorry. Finally in January of 2010 your grandma came to visit. She said I am not leaving until he is in school and I dont care who I have to call he will be in school in the next two weeks. And boy did she get the ball rolling. You are now is school. You are making progress. You are amazing. You can take a bad day and make me smile. I love you Kade through the mess, the stress and everything else I thank Heavenly Father everyday for you. I know I am slow at doing things and I am working on it, But I promise to fight and do everything I can to save you, the way you save me and our family.